I hate to be "That guy", but this SUCKS, he sucks, they suck, it sucks, Milan sucks, its just sucks.

It was all good and fun (be it boring) before fashion week. When fashion week appeared, people reverted to there super-ego shows its ugly face. That part of them they suppress to fit in with society, the part that keeps them sociable, yea all the getting turned down or the promise of big money makes everything suck.


Random thoughts, half assedly organized, and very little caring going on into what is though. Read at the risk of changing your view of me. If all else fails you might just get a little look into how my head works (or doesn't).

I miss my bike, and the Don Valley, and the coop (yup), and rock climbing (how ever bad i might be), and speaking English at a level higher then 2nd grade, and being treated like some punk kid instead of like dirt (or worse, American), and knowing what I am buying when I shop, but mostly the rides in the Don Valley (even the one just before coming here where I went over the bars twice and missed a berm, and hit a tree, and went off the back, and ran out of energy and had to walk a hill, and the sore arms and sore legs, and the burn of the lactic acid on the way home, and the stupid flat I got from bad rim tape (oh yea mark you might wanna fix that...oops))


Tonight showed me how much of what everyone says is a facade. Everyone has a face, but I never realized how deep it went, until it disappears.

People change, cliche I know but its fucking true. I'm sitting here on my laptop kinda pissed off about the lack of work, and Nico come over with some friends and they start laying into me about being Canadian (oh man you guys are so original, like thats never happened before. "Canada is like American but worse" and other such amusingly ignorant shit.), both being from South America, they are known through out Milan as being the biggest asshats around, just made me wonder why I'm here.

Nico was cool, now hes a prick. He makes some money now hes God, bookers bend over backwards to please him, and people latch on so as to be cooler. So naturally he does what he likes now.

Milan blows (have I said this before?), I think God was playing a joke on everyone when he made Milan. Probably thinking something like "Oh man this is gonna be great, I'm going to blend, fashion, asshats, pricks, drugs, dirt, cars, models, and remove everything else, and drop it on this flat as day old coke plateau.. Oh its gonna be awesome".


SO


Here it is.


If life doesn't pick up after fashion week ends, I am going home. If home isn't an option, then I'm travelling around Europe. Try and stop me.

My time is the 1st of July. Not better by then, I'm going Traveling around Europe, or headed home.


Reason? This shit sucks, I don't need stuck up pricks in this gate to hell they call "Milan" telling me they think I'm 'fat' or 'ugly'. Why should I be stuck in the fucked up city with these fucked up people? All its doing it making my life worse, when there is no reason. What I got from the start, and apparently nobody else has got, is my life was awesome. Work all week at a half decent job full of awesome people, and then when I wasn't working I could do what I wanted. The only time I got called fat was when my ass was getting dropped on the trails, or I couldn't climb a 5.10+. This is not a cool business, nobody likes it unless they are making money, and even then they all know in the back of there head it wont last. So as a great General once said (forgot his name) "It's not retreating, It's attacking in the other direction". So I shall cut my losses and get out before I turn into one of these shallow as my list of "jobs I have done" list is long, people that call call them selves models.

I feel sorry for everyone here that has forgotten that life before this was better. And pity all those that think it is the path they want to pursue.

I shall finish my time here ONLY if life picks up, and if it doesn't? I hope (partially) it doesn't get to that.


In the end, I don't care what people think of me, I prefer it when they like me, but in the end there are very few people that I actually care about making like me. As you can see I would be a terrible business man as I dove head first from the highest diving board, into the business worst suited for my personality, making the worst choice possible.


I was going to try and hold off all further judgement until the end, but that would just be stupid. I am going to point out all possible flaws available in the time I have left.
Hopefully I either get shipped to another place (Tokyo, or New York) or it picks up here once eveyone leaves (not work wise, just less stress and more fun with people)


Once again, I don't think this is an OK way of life, and would my prefer getting my ass kicked in rock climbing by some half monkey... half monkey friend (some might get this, I just hope he he knows who he is), or being dropped every 30 seconds by some 4 foot 2, tattoo sporting chick in her thirties on the trails (I let her win...). Or even getting up at 7:30 off a friends couch on a Saturday morning to go get my ass kicked at work all day.